


I'm Too Late

by wasabiandi



Category: Your Favorite Martian
Genre: BenaPuff, Character Death, Even with those nasty tags it's a fluff feels trip, M/M, OOC warning, Old fanfic tho, suicide warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasabiandi/pseuds/wasabiandi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's Gone...I'm too late....</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Too Late

It was a funeral. His funeral. The one day I wished he'd return.

If only I was there for him, if only I could be by his side during the tough. Though I let him suffer alone, and now, he's gone.

I want him back, I need him back. I can't live without his guiding words. I can't live without being held in his arms, and being told I was amazing. That I was the one reason he breathed, the one reason he lived.

But, I guess that reason burnt up.

He was mine to hold, his hand was mine to caress, to kiss, and to grasp. He was my everything, and to think, with him, I was even planning commitment.

In fact, at this very moment, I held the ring, in it's small velvet box. I hated to know I would never hear him say 'Yes' nor 'I do.' I hate the fact that he did this too himself.

I knew he was miserable, but I still left. I was in for the job, in for the opportunity, and I ignored him. I ignored his pleas to return, and I ignored that he needed me.

Tears dripped down my face as I pulled my legs to my chest, rocking lightly as I remembered everything we had shared. Like our first date, carelessly kissing in front of everyone. When we announced to the fans we were together- the fact so many people cheered whenever I'd kiss your cheek on stage. It was absolutely perfect.

No matter where, or what I was doing; He was always on my mind. His soft, gorgeously perfect blonde hair that framed and accented his face amazingly. His high, foreign-tweaked voice that left me melting. I hated that he was shy, and never told anyone a thing about what went on in his head.

It was purely and utterly painful when he first opened up - the night I left.

We promised to tell each other everything, so we could work things though. It hurt when I found out, the reason for his death, was going on 6 months behind my back.

"It's okay, Puff... He's somewhere better now. We promise, he'll be happier there" DeeJay murmured from next to me, placing an arm around my shoulders firmly just before wiping away his stray tears.

Even Axel, the one who once swore he'd never cry at our funerals, was balling his eyes out. How guilty he must feel is horrible.

Why must it end like this...

 

It was my boyfriend's funeral. His funeral. I can't even make a speech, I can't breathe. I want him back, now. I want him in my arms, to tell him he was alright. I just wanted to have been there, taken the knife from his hands, and kiss him until he wasn't distraught.

I want these things, but, they're out of my grasp. I was selfish, and I lost him.

In time I was brought up to the alter, looking down upon him, wrapped tightly and smartly in his coffin.

He looked so peaceful, so mesmerizing there. Lips together lightly and his skin as pale as the snow we would once kiss on, chuck at each other, and snuggle up under a blanket to just watch fall from the sky.

Brushing his blonde hair from his eyes, I sighed. This would be the last time I can see him again. The last time I could say goodbye.

"I l-love you Benny. We'll miss you down here..." Crying to the point I couldn't speak, I leaned down, kissing cold, pale lips lightly before caressing one of his still hands. Just like all those times before, our lips matched perfectly together, and our hands fitted perfectly within each others.

Separating much to my displeasure, I place the velvet box in his palm.

"Y-You may not be able to answer, b-but... just, know, that I love you. And from this moment o-on, I will always address myself as a proposed man"

Kissing his cheek one more time, Axel and DeeJay's arms made their way around my shoulders, as we stood there, watching our keyboardist for the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is an OLD fan fiction I wrote, and a fair amount of the YFM fandom enjoyed so hey I'll post it here!   
> Plenty more work on my DeviantART, wasabiandi


End file.
